You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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