They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
