Nicole vs. Life
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize