So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
