i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
do herpes really smell.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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