When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize