is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
