Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
