He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
