do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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