your thong is hanging out like whoa
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
