Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize