Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
