I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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