How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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