belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
and she was petting her beer can
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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