Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
