dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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