I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
