if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
