he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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