you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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