dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
