walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
