Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
