You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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