I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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