After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
