her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
