he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
