just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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