You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
