So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
