I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
