I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
