upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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