why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
