"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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