Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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