I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize