'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize