no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
