distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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