Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
