Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Randomize
