Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
