you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
