The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
