can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize