I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
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