best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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