i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
