She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
