oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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