I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Are we still banned from the library?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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