She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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