I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize