This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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