you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
