We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
