you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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