I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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