I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize