is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
