found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
