Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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