We're facebook friends in real life
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize