Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
